Take Hold of His Hand

One of my most vivid memories from my college years so far happened during my sophomore year and it is a memory that is forever etched into my mind. 

I had just transferred to the University of Northern Iowa and, let me tell you, I was not doing well at all. Not only did I hate my first semester and sunk into a pit of depression every once in a while, but I was also very sick. For those of you that don't know, I have Crohn's disease (and if you're curious what that is, I think it's better for you to Google it to find out. It's not the most pleasant thing to talk about over a blog post). My whole first semester I had something wrong with me, from not being able to bend my elbows to having arthritis pain throughout my whole body like an 80 year old woman. It was not good. One night, I was having a terrible flare up that caused me to feel very sick. Unfortunately, we were having friends over that night and I did not want to deal with the embarrassment of getting sick in front of them or having to tell them what was going on with me. I was suffering silently throughout the night because I did not want people to know. I didn't want to ruin all the fun everyone was having and it was just too embarrassing for me to admit that I wasn't feeling good. When we got to our apartment, I went straight to my room and started to panic. It was all I could do not to cry. I was so frustrated that I was sick all the time and I felt like it was ruining my life. I couldn't take it anymore. And now I was stuck in my room with no options. I couldn't go out there and face my friends but I didn't want to leave my room. I felt horrible and alone. 

Then, my best friend since birth (literally) knocked on my door. She came in looking for pillows for people to sit on, but she immediately noticed that something was wrong with me. She asked me what was going on and I finally admitted it to her. I told her how I was feeling sick and was embarrassed by it. I told her I didn't think I could make it through the night. My sickness and my fear was crippling me. I covered my face with my sweatshirt as I started to cry. My best friend took me by the shoulders and said "look at me". At first I resisted but she persistently insisted that I look her in the eye. And what she said, I will never forget. 

"Lottie, you do not need to worry about anything. I will take care of everything, okay? Don't worry about it. I will help you and everything is going to be just fine". 

She went on with a game plan on how we could make it through the night, including code words if I was about to get sick and how to get rid of everyone if I couldn't take it anymore. After that, we prayed and went out to face my fear. Together.  

I cannot tell you how thankful I was for my best friend at that moment (and still am thankful for her!) I immediately felt comforted when she said she would help me. There was nothing like it. I was at my wits end and it was as if she took the burden for me. That memory will always hold a special place in my heart because I always know I can count on my best friend to help me no matter what. When I can't do it anymore, she's right there to help me along. Thank God for such a great blessing! 

I hope and pray that everyone has a friend like that. Among the Biblical truths that come out of this story, there's one truth that sticks out the most and is my reason for writing this blog. I hope it can sink into your heart as much as it has sunk into mine. 

"For I am the Lord your God who holds your right hand and who says to you 'Do not be afraid. I will help you'". 

Take a second to meditate on that verse. Really think about what it's saying. God, a powerful, mighty, amazing God, cares enough about you to take hold of your right hand. There's something comforting about someone holding your hand and I know everyone has a story of when that hand-hold immediately set you at ease. I remember when I was in 5th grade and was first diagnosed with Crohn's. It was either my second or third Remicade infusion and I was having a horrible reaction to the medication. I had the chills, felt nauseated, and was literally shaking. I will never forget how my mom grabbed hold of my hand and prayed like her life depended on it. Even though I was struggling, it made me feel better to know she was there to go through it with me. 

We all have those moments where  you were comforted by a hand hold. It's a moment that gives you strength and helps you to know that everything is going to be okay. That's why this verse makes God feel so real and present to me when I read it. God, my father, is holding my hand. When I'm struggling, He's there. When I'm lonely, He's there. When I am at the end of my rope and feel like I can't get through it...He is there holding my hand. Wow, God is so amazing!

You guys, I wish you could get as excited about this truth as I am right now. He is there, by your side, through whatever challenge you might be going through. He actually cares enough to help! Then He goes on to say "do not be afraid, I will help you". He will help you! And if anyone can understand your situation and do something about it, it's Him! I thought having my best friend help me was more than amazing. Imagine how mind-blown I am knowing that God will help me! 

I can't tell you how comforting that verse is to me. I am a very anxious and fearful person (hey, I'm working on it) so there have been many times that I would panic and feel like I literally can't get through the task before me. Then I repeat that verse in my head and feel a sense of peace. 

Truth is, we don't have to go through anything alone. He is always there. He will never leave you. He may ask you to do something that you feel is beyond your capability. You can either give in to Satan's voice telling you that you can't, or you can grab hold of God's hand and face the challenge courageously, knowing that He will help you. Satan may be throwing punch after punch at you, trying to knock you down. You can either fall limp to the ground and admit defeat, or you can let God take you by the hand, lift you off the ground and help walk you through the fiery trial. He's already been through it all. Jesus knows pain - He suffered more than we can imagine. He was mocked, spit on, beaten, and crowned with thorns. When they whipped Him, He got 39 lashes and by Roman law, 40 lashes was the amount used to kill a man. If anyone understands suffering, it's Him. Our suffering cannot even compare to His, and yet He wants to help us. How amazing it is that He cares enough to help us with what we're facing, too! 

If you take away anything with this post, remember this: He is always there to help you. Believe that He can. Believe that he is as strong as He says He is. Believe Him when he tells you not to be afraid because he's got you! He knows what's coming and he knows the outcome. It's no surprise to Him at all. So if he says you can do it, you really can. He'll never give you more than you can handle and He'll never lead you to something that you won't come out of stronger. 

Take hold of his hand and do not be afraid, because the God of the universe will help you. 

Time to Right Some Wrongs..

I've been reading over some old entries I have written and some of them have really been eating at me. There have been a couple posts that I felt were spot on, but I am now realizing that I am wrong. For this reason, I feel I need to apologize to my readers.

In "God Hates Religion", I talked about how much God hated religion and how we shouldn't be trying to live by a set of rules, but by faith in God alone. I still believe that a relationship with God is much more essential than simply living the life of a religious person. It's one thing to go through the motions, but it's a completely other thing to truly pursue God and pursue a relationship with him. Religion, if simply moralistic living, is not what God wants. However, God does love the church. In fact he died for the church (his people). And he came to fulfill the law.

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." - Matthew 5:17

And I forgot to mention that God does give us a set of guidelines to live by. But they are to help us and protect us and further sanctify us. 

“If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them, then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit." - Leviticus 19:23-25

"If you love me, you will obey what I command" - John 14:15

When we love God and truly seek to please, honor and be sanctified, then we will want to follow those commands. Because we know it's for our own good and He loves us. 

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Now for my most recent post, "To the Christian Men". I do feel now that I was wrong. I still feel that we should all be respectful to our brothers and sisters. But I believe I may have been misleading to the guys that they should start pursuing more in-depth guy-girl friendships. Men, you're only job is to lead your wife and to treat them as precious and rubies and gems. It never said to do that for all women. It's not fair of me to ask you to step up to a certain standard of living that isn't necessarily Biblical. For that I am sorry. 

In all honesty, my heart was not in the right place in writing either of these posts. I have noticed that of all my posts, those two had the most bitter undertones. I did not write with words of encouragement or conviction like I do in my usual blog posts. I let my own opinions and personal experiences get in the way of what was true. For "God Hates Religion", I was not educated enough to write something like that. I'm not a theologian by any means. Nor do I know what God "loves" or "hates". How dare I claim to know the mind of God. And in "To The Christian Men" - I was speaking from anger and not out of love. It was geared by hurt and I wasn't encouraging. I am sorry for being misleading. I am sorry for presenting false information. It pains me to ever loose credibility with my writing in this way. My goal has always been to speak the truth as I know it from God. I do this for Him. And for me to selfishly make claims and call them "truths" is just wrong. I asked God to forgive me, but I need to repent to you, my readers. I am deeply sorry and I hope that you all will forgive me. Even though I am human and will fail at times, I will do my best to never let this happen again.

Also, thank you for reading my blogs and for the kind words you have sent me. I love hearing how they have helped you! That is all God's doing. I'm just happy to be the messenger. I will continue to write blogs out of love for you all. I know I've made a couple mistakes, but there's so much good that has been done that I can't let these mistakes stop me. Therefore, I will keep writing with the wisdom only God gives :) 

My grandma Theresa, before she passed away last weekend, told me something that I will never forget. Her words are etched in my mind forever. For some reason, her words reaffirmed my calling and maybe that's why they are so special to me. "Your blogs are really good, Lottie. I read them all the time and you talk about some deep stuff. You keep writing, okay?"

I will, Grandma. I will. 

Love you and miss you. I'm still writing and always will. I hope you can read these from Heaven :)  

To the Christian Men

Can I be brutally honest for a second? Because there's a truth that's been laid on my heart that I feel needs to be said. It may seem harsh. It may be controversial in a sense. But I feel there's no denying this truth if I see it happening to me personally as well as to other women I know.

I am disappointed and let down by the male community. Let me rephrase that. I am let down by the Christian men; the men who are supposed to be leaders in the community, worthy of respect, and modeling their lives after Jesus. 

I was recently in the hospital for a routine procedure. Not a huge deal, but with my health the way it was, I was nervous and needed prayer for strength. I sent out a mass text to a few of my close friends that I felt could be prayer warriors for me. My girl friends all replied saying they would be praying for me and even checked up with me afterwards to make sure everything went okay (thank God for such great friends!). However, I was disappointed to hear nothing from the guys I sent it to - men that I thought for sure could be prayer warriors for me. Venting about this experience, I sent this text to a friend of mine and she felt it was a powerful observation that men need to hear:

"Btw, some guy I only met once in class asked me how my surgery went. HE is treating me better than the Christian guys are. And yet the Christian guys always wonder why nice guys finish last.... Well, start treating your sisters better, you men of God! That's your duty! The non Christian men are outshining you!"

Hm. Interesting. A somewhat random stranger showed more compassion and genuine care than my own brothers.

Here's the truth, men. Girls need guy friends, too. We need men in our lives who can encourage us, pray for us, and show us what men of God look like. Suzanne Hadley Gosselin talked about this subject in her article "Boy Crazy" found on boundless.org. She talked about how important it is for girls to develop friendships with guys.

"I've come to believe that healthy opposite-sex friendships are important and beneficial. Through these friendships, you receive a different perspective, gain practice in relating to someone of the opposite sex (if you're going to be married to one someday, it's helpful to know what they're like), and may even develop a friendship that grows into more....None of those guys was the one for me, but those friendships paved the way for me to learn how to be myself around the opposite sex."

 Girls have been screwed over in a sense. We have been trained all our lives to believe that if a guy treats you well, he must like you. Makes sense right? If he talks to you, hangs out with you, and treats you with respect, then by golly, hold on to him. He must be the one. But why should a guy only treat you well if he likes you? Can't he treat you with the same amount of respect even if there's no romantic feelings?

I've noticed in my own experience that guys who want to pursue me or have somewhat of an interest in me will treat me well (talk, hang out, compliment, etc). But the guys who don't will very rarely initiate conversation with me, make an effort to hang out or check to see how I'm doing. It's like they go out of their way to make sure I know they have no interest. Even though this hurts me, their intentions may be good. Christian men generally don't want to lead women on, and I respect that. But what are we supposed to think if we only get treated well when we are liked? No wonder women get clingy to men that treat them well. It's because it doesn't happen otherwise! What would happen if women always got the respect and honor they deserved from all men, not just the ones that had feelings for them?

Truth is, it is a man's duty to treat all women with respect. Especially women of God.

"Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!" - Proverbs 31:10

Give her everything she deserves. Praise her. Guys, this isn't just for your wives or women-of-interest, it's for every woman of God! Treat her with the respect and love that she deserves from her brothers! Men always say they want a "Proverbs 31 woman" - well start showing the ones that are trying to live that way that you appreciate it. Give us encouragement, pray for us, be there for us. We need men to step up and show us that they care. 

I feel bad for single women because not only do we have no man in our life to love us and give us wisdom, guidance, and encouragement, but our guy friends ignore us so "we don't get the wrong idea". This leaves us feeling worthless, unloved, and not genuinely cared for. That's not what God wants. As Christians, we are all in the same family. 

"Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2

Our number one calling in life is to love one another. That includes everyone, not just your spouse. It is possible to show love to your fellow Christian brothers and sisters without romantic feelings being involved. This is biblical. 

"Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other." - 1 Thessalonians 4:9

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." - 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"If anyone says "I love God" and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen". 1 John 4:20

"The second is this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself". There is no commandment greater than this" - Mark 12:31

Men, if we are all in the same family and if we are called to love each other, then lets treat each other in such a manner. Think about your family for a second. Families tell each other they love each other. They pray for each other. They hang out, go out to eat, go shopping, and call each other. They make sure everything is okay. They comfort each other when they are sad. They help in whatever way possible when they are in need. 

Why do you do this? Because you love your family and that's what families do. 

Christian men - I am your sister. I am God's daughter. Treat me as such.