The List

How many of you have ever made a list of what you want in a guy? You know, the list of traits that describe your perfect, ideal guy. When you're 12 or 13, your list consists of things like "hot, athletic, and super nice!". When you're 16-17, your list probably changed a little bit, with "caring, charming, manly, and good looking" (being attractive is always on the list, of course).

Well, here I am, 20 years old and I still feel like I have a list. It's not a list that I wrote down, though (I stopped doing that a while ago). But I have a list in my head and I'm pretty serious about sticking to it. Everyone that knows me knows how picky I am. But I wouldn't say picky - more like I just know what I want/deserve.

The past couple years I've learned a few things about what a girl deserves. Every girl, yes every girl, deserves a guy who will treat her like a precious gem and value her above anything else. Every girl deserves a guy who will literally lay down his life for her, sacrificing everything. A guy that respects her, protects her, and cherishes her. Every girl deserves a guy that will guard her heart and will pursue her in a godly way. To accept anything less than that would just be settling.

And I'm not just saying this. It's biblical!

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies" - Proverbs 31:10.  
Proverbs 31 talks about the Virtuous Wife. She is a woman of character who provides for her family, speaks with kindness, and respects her husband. In the end it says "charm is misleading and beauty will soon fade, but a women to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves" (MSG version). A woman who loves God is a woman who deserves to be praised. She is valued and treasured. That's how every woman should be treated. 


"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" - Ephesians 5:25
I love this verse. In fact, I love this section in the Bible. If you haven't read Ephesians 5, I would definitely do so. Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. This passage talks about how Christ's love for the church was a sacrificial love. Christ gave himself up for us because he loved us. Then it says that husbands should do the same! That's some intense love! I mean, think about it, Christ loved the church - his people - so much that he willingly laid down his life. To think that a man should do that for a woman is hard to grasp.


If you know me well, you know that I chose not to date. There are many reasons behind that, but the main one being that I refuse to settle for anything less than what God has for me. I'd say I have a pretty good gauge when it comes "the one". I just know if the person pursuing me, or whom I am pursuing, is or is not the one. For the past twenty years there's always been something in my heart that tells me "nope, he isn't it". Because of this, I am able to save myself from tons of heartache. Not to say that I haven't had my fair share of pain during this time. I still make mistakes and struggle with singleness, boys, and searching for the one. That said, I know that when the one does come around, I will literally have that "just know" feeling. The feeling that married couples say that had when they first met their husband/wife. Within a few hours or days of meeting that person, one or the other just "knew". I believe that's how it will be for me. My unsure feelings and apprehensions for certain guys have always held me back. When I meet my future husband, and those feelings go away, then I'll know. 


I want to encourage you all who are struggling to decifer God's will in your love life. You may be dealing with singleness, feeling like you're the only one out there who doesn't have a significant other and are feeling the pains of loneliness. Or maybe you're being pursued by a guy and you aren't sure if he's the one God had in mind for you. Or maybe you have strong feelings for a guy who doesn't feel the same and it's left your heart torn, wondering where God is in all of this. Maybe you feel like you're not enough. Like the perfect guy deserves better than you as his wife. 


Ladies, as a fellow single, struggling girl, all I can say is this: know what God has in mind for you, believe it, and don't settle for less. 


God has a guy for you that will exceed EVERY bullet point on your list. 


So what am I holding out for? I'm waiting for the day that I meet a man, not a boy, a man, who is biblical wise, who understands what we are here on this Earth for. Someone who will sacrifice himself for the greater good of others, genuinely love others, and pray for them without ceasing. I'm waiting for someone to pursue me in a Godly way, guard my heart, and help me deal with issues holding me back in my relationship with God. He will be a leader both to me and to our family. He will guide, protect, and serve us with a sincere heart. He will work hard to provide. I'm waiting for the guy who sees his vision in life and doesn't let anything get in his way. The guy who starts and ends each day with God. The guy who lives his life in light of the gospel. I am waiting for the man who is so madly in love and pursuing God that is his contagious joy overflows onto others. This is the man I'm holding out for. I will also do everything I can to be a woman worthy of this man. 


And our relationship will be an example of the marriage between Christ and the church- such deep, passionate, sacrificial love. 


I will not settle for less and neither should you.  Thanks for reading, everyone! :)