So, I got on facebook today (like I do every day) and I noticed that one of my friends just got engaged. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm super excited for them and couldn't be happier! It's a beautiful thing when a girl finds the guy she's been waiting for her whole life - the guy that God promised to her. I guess it's just a little...overwhelming for me. I feel like I'm getting to that age where everybody seems to be finding their "one" and my friends are getting married faster lightening strikes. I'm truely am happy for everyone who has marriage in the picture and congratulate them on embarking on this new journey. As for me? Now I'm just numb to it all. I'm just left asking, "Who's next"?
I'm so used to seeing pictures of engagement rings and status updates that say "I'm the luckiest girl in the world!<3" and "I love my husband.. how did I manage to snag him ;]". You all know what I'm talking about. That's all cute and nice, but, being a fellow single, it's enough to make you want to puke at times. Like I said, I'm happy for them, but really, do you gotta rub it in our single faces? Psh.
It takes everything within me not to be jealous at times, wishing it was me who got to say that. Somtimes I wonder why that girl landed the amazing, gorgeous, Christian guy I dream of and not me. Sounds pretty selfish, right? Believe me, I'm working on it. But the thing is, I get to the point where I get rather upset with God, saying "really, God? SERIOUSLY? What's wrong with me? Why am I still single while everyone else is getting married? Am I not "content" enough with You? Am I not secure enough in my singleness and totally love-blind with You to be totally caught off guard by 'the one'? Am I not outgoing or appealing enough to the type of guy I want to attract? Do I not measure up to the other amazing christian girls who seem to attract these guys? What's wrong with me?"
Truth is, these questions are gonna ruin me and lead me down a desctructive, spiral path to nowhere - fast. I've slowly realized that these doubts about myself, along with if God has a guy for me, are not thoughts from God. They're simply from Satan. He wants us to get impatient and frustrated to the point where we give up and sell ourselves short; lowering our standards, giving away our purity, or becoming self-conscious, unconfident beings. He wants us to forget the fact that we are made in the beautiful image of God and search for love from a mere mortal man. He's the one who's putting these questions into our head, and yet we direct our frustration and blame toward God.
Two truths I've learned in my time of singleness that should help other singles who feel the way I do:
1) You don't have to "be content" before you're man will come. "May he grant you the desires of your heart, and may all your plans succeed" (Psalms 20:4). A friend of mine once showed me a youtube video of a preacher speaking about singleness. He pointed out that we've filled our heads with the idea that you have to be "content" with God before He'll bring 'the one' into your life. Since when do we need to be content with being single? God created us to be united with man. He put that desire in our hearts. Why would we tell us to push that desire away and pretend it doesn't exist just to please Him? The part I liked in the video was when he said "you can be content with where you are right now, but that doesn't mean you want to be content with that down the road".
2) Be Patient. "But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." (Romans 8:25). I know, you've probably heard this a thousand times just like I have. In my oppinion, it's the most annoying thing a person could tell a single women. "God has a great guy in store for you. You just have to be patient. It'll happen eventually". Yeah, that's coming from a married or dating woman! Thanks, alot. In all serious, though, patience is key. It shows that you're trusting God that He's going to fulfill his promise - to grant you the desires of your heart. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1). When we have faith in God, we are CERTAIN, even though circumstances in life might tell us otherwise. We can be sure of this: God is faithful and he "works all things for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). Since this is truth, why is it so hard for us just be patient, enjoy life, and rest in the fact that God has it all worked out?
Believe me, this is one of my biggest struggles. But I find comfort and peace knowing that God has it all together and he truly is going to bring me the "man of my dreams" who will be my perfect "other half" and together, we will do some major, awesome, amazing things for the glory of God. It's all apart of his plan.
So congratulations, couples!....I'm next.
2 Kings chapters 3-4... The woman in the story responds, "It is well.." no matter the circumstance or position she was in, she realized how to let her heart have peace..
ReplyDelete"Turn away from evil and do good, SEARCH for peace and work to maintain it" (Psalm 34:14) It isn't going to be easy always, we have to 'work' to trust and maintain that trust.
"Father, bring glory to Your Name..." (John 12:27-28) Jesus was deeply troubled and nervous about his crucifixion but he realized that asking "why" never mattered.. God has the right to give or take whatever he wants to from us, because heck, he made us.. and the only purpose of our life is to bring glory to his name. So maybe he can best bring glory to his name through some of us being single, or some of us married ;) either way, the glory to Him is due :)
Love you girl. Love your heart, and love your writing :) Just wanted to share some things I've been reading/thinking about regarding this topic! :)
Loved this Lottie!! This is so true! I discovered the same thing this year. It's a very hard battle to fight, especially when the world acts like you're nothing if you don't have man that you like or likes you!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lottie!! I've learned two things about being "content", depending on how you define it (and p.s. I loved your quote at the end of that paragraph)!
ReplyDelete1) People often think they have to wait until they are "right" with God before they'll find their husband, but we'll never be perfect- we'll still sin and need God's forgiveness, so this is not necessarily a determining factor. (I heard this in a sermon once).
2) However, Jesus is MORE than enough for us. So like you quoted, we should be content in His love and not neeeed a man's love to satisfy us, because Jesus is all we truly need; BUT I know that God wants to bless us by giving us the desires of our heart, which can definitely include a Christian man that will help build our faith as well. :) Does that make sense?
(In a sermon I heard) - another lie we believe is that "it's bad" to desire a husband. Nope, as long as God is our #1, this is a-ok! :)