I had just transferred to the University of Northern Iowa and, let me tell you, I was not doing well at all. Not only did I hate my first semester and sunk into a pit of depression every once in a while, but I was also very sick. For those of you that don't know, I have Crohn's disease (and if you're curious what that is, I think it's better for you to Google it to find out. It's not the most pleasant thing to talk about over a blog post). My whole first semester I had something wrong with me, from not being able to bend my elbows to having arthritis pain throughout my whole body like an 80 year old woman. It was not good. One night, I was having a terrible flare up that caused me to feel very sick. Unfortunately, we were having friends over that night and I did not want to deal with the embarrassment of getting sick in front of them or having to tell them what was going on with me. I was suffering silently throughout the night because I did not want people to know. I didn't want to ruin all the fun everyone was having and it was just too embarrassing for me to admit that I wasn't feeling good. When we got to our apartment, I went straight to my room and started to panic. It was all I could do not to cry. I was so frustrated that I was sick all the time and I felt like it was ruining my life. I couldn't take it anymore. And now I was stuck in my room with no options. I couldn't go out there and face my friends but I didn't want to leave my room. I felt horrible and alone.
Then, my best friend since birth (literally) knocked on my door. She came in looking for pillows for people to sit on, but she immediately noticed that something was wrong with me. She asked me what was going on and I finally admitted it to her. I told her how I was feeling sick and was embarrassed by it. I told her I didn't think I could make it through the night. My sickness and my fear was crippling me. I covered my face with my sweatshirt as I started to cry. My best friend took me by the shoulders and said "look at me". At first I resisted but she persistently insisted that I look her in the eye. And what she said, I will never forget.
"Lottie, you do not need to worry about anything. I will take care of everything, okay? Don't worry about it. I will help you and everything is going to be just fine".
She went on with a game plan on how we could make it through the night, including code words if I was about to get sick and how to get rid of everyone if I couldn't take it anymore. After that, we prayed and went out to face my fear. Together.
I cannot tell you how thankful I was for my best friend at that moment (and still am thankful for her!) I immediately felt comforted when she said she would help me. There was nothing like it. I was at my wits end and it was as if she took the burden for me. That memory will always hold a special place in my heart because I always know I can count on my best friend to help me no matter what. When I can't do it anymore, she's right there to help me along. Thank God for such a great blessing!
I hope and pray that everyone has a friend like that. Among the Biblical truths that come out of this story, there's one truth that sticks out the most and is my reason for writing this blog. I hope it can sink into your heart as much as it has sunk into mine.
"For I am the Lord your God who holds your right hand and who says to you 'Do not be afraid. I will help you'".
Take a second to meditate on that verse. Really think about what it's saying. God, a powerful, mighty, amazing God, cares enough about you to take hold of your right hand. There's something comforting about someone holding your hand and I know everyone has a story of when that hand-hold immediately set you at ease. I remember when I was in 5th grade and was first diagnosed with Crohn's. It was either my second or third Remicade infusion and I was having a horrible reaction to the medication. I had the chills, felt nauseated, and was literally shaking. I will never forget how my mom grabbed hold of my hand and prayed like her life depended on it. Even though I was struggling, it made me feel better to know she was there to go through it with me.
We all have those moments where you were comforted by a hand hold. It's a moment that gives you strength and helps you to know that everything is going to be okay. That's why this verse makes God feel so real and present to me when I read it. God, my father, is holding my hand. When I'm struggling, He's there. When I'm lonely, He's there. When I am at the end of my rope and feel like I can't get through it...He is there holding my hand. Wow, God is so amazing!
You guys, I wish you could get as excited about this truth as I am right now. He is there, by your side, through whatever challenge you might be going through. He actually cares enough to help! Then He goes on to say "do not be afraid, I will help you". He will help you! And if anyone can understand your situation and do something about it, it's Him! I thought having my best friend help me was more than amazing. Imagine how mind-blown I am knowing that God will help me!
I can't tell you how comforting that verse is to me. I am a very anxious and fearful person (hey, I'm working on it) so there have been many times that I would panic and feel like I literally can't get through the task before me. Then I repeat that verse in my head and feel a sense of peace.
Truth is, we don't have to go through anything alone. He is always there. He will never leave you. He may ask you to do something that you feel is beyond your capability. You can either give in to Satan's voice telling you that you can't, or you can grab hold of God's hand and face the challenge courageously, knowing that He will help you. Satan may be throwing punch after punch at you, trying to knock you down. You can either fall limp to the ground and admit defeat, or you can let God take you by the hand, lift you off the ground and help walk you through the fiery trial. He's already been through it all. Jesus knows pain - He suffered more than we can imagine. He was mocked, spit on, beaten, and crowned with thorns. When they whipped Him, He got 39 lashes and by Roman law, 40 lashes was the amount used to kill a man. If anyone understands suffering, it's Him. Our suffering cannot even compare to His, and yet He wants to help us. How amazing it is that He cares enough to help us with what we're facing, too!
If you take away anything with this post, remember this: He is always there to help you. Believe that He can. Believe that he is as strong as He says He is. Believe Him when he tells you not to be afraid because he's got you! He knows what's coming and he knows the outcome. It's no surprise to Him at all. So if he says you can do it, you really can. He'll never give you more than you can handle and He'll never lead you to something that you won't come out of stronger.
Take hold of his hand and do not be afraid, because the God of the universe will help you.
