Why We Celebrate Easter (no, it's not for chocolate bunnies).

"Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living." - Romans 6:18

There are plenty of things to be slave to in this world. Drunkeness, lust, greed, fear...the list goes on and on. Think none of these things control you? Think about it this way.

If you can't have it, you crave it. You're addicted and you don't even realize it. The feeling you get when you satisfy your craving makes you high. You fall into the temptation all to easily. But you don't even bother fighting it because you believe it's impossible to beat. Why fight when you know you're going to fall into temptation again? It has a hold on you and is slowly stealing the life from you. You can't live without it. You can't even fathom. There's no way to overcome it. You love it. You hate how much you love it, but it's undeniable. You know there's something wrong with what you're doing but you don't want to stop. It keeps you up at night with it's constant nagging to satisfy the craving. It's not a matter of "if" you will. Now it's when, where and how.

I've been there. As a friend bluntly pointed out to me, I was a slave. In light of this, I've been pondering Romans 6:18 lately. I don't have to be a slave to sin anymore. Jesus saved me from the bondage I put myself in.

When Jesus died, He took sin with Him. He made it possible for me to be free from what should kill me. He had me in mind when He died. He knew that in 2012, I would need saving. And if that were the only reason, He still would have done it. That blows my mind. His death brings us life. We don't have to be a slave to our addictions. He gives us power to overcome because He's already overcome. I just have to believe it. Have you ever thought about it that way?

Some people think that religion is old fashioned. Something that our grandparents believe in. But it's so much more than just going to church on Sunday and saying a prayer every once in a while. It's a relationship and He wants to be your best friend. He is here. Right now. Sitting right next to you as you read this. He loves you. He longs for companionship with you. He wants you to experience a life that is soo much greater than the one you're living now. 

There's no to-do list. There's no step-by-step instruction manual. There's nothing you can do to deserve it. All you have to do is believe that God really did send His Son to save you from the bondages of sin. It's nothing you did. There's nothing you can do. "What if I go to church every Sunday?" No. "I'm generally a good person.." No. Stop. Just stop it. It's not about you! Let's be honest. We suck! You may look good in comparison to others but when you compare yourself to the awesomeness of God, you suck! Pride keeps me from realizing this sometimes. I always think "Well, I'm not that bad. I could be doing a lot worse things!" But I am honestly a messed up, idolizing, horrible human being who is just as bad as the people who spit on Jesus and whipped Him.

He died. And yes, it did actually happen. Without His death, there would be no resurrection. No new life. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10.

It's hard to understand why He would do it. It's hard to fully grasp that it actually happened. But sometimes you gotta stop questioning and just start believing. That's all it takes. "Whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16.

That's it. There's nothing more I can say. He lived a perfect life. Died a horrible death. And rose again. All to save us, mere mortal sinners, from the bondages of sin. And one day we will be in Heaven with Him forever. If you can believe that, you're golden.

Time to Let Go

Greetings, friends! It's very possible that I may be writing this for the sole purpose of putting off my huge webpage project due tonight. Not to say this post isn't important. It's probably one of the most critical truths I'll ever state on here. But if it has the ability to pass time by before i actually need to start my project...well, that's just an added bonus.

I'm going to be honest. I haven't been myself lately. There's been a blockade in my spirit between me and God and for a while, I couldn't tell what it was from! It made me super frustrated because I couldn't read my Bible the same, or write out my prayers, and I had no heart for other people like I used to. I found myself becoming very selfish, easily annoyed/angry, and ultimately, taking my gaze off God.

But the more I thought about it, the more it became clear that I knew what the problem was all along. I just never wanted to admit it. I had this nagging feeling that I needed to speak at BASIC (our on-campus ministry). Unfortunately, I've been feeling this way since...summer. Gotta be honest, I hated this thought. There is nothing I would dislike more than speaking in front of a group of my peers. Plus, what would I even speak about?? I am in no position to teach. And it's way too scary to lay my life story out on the table for total strangers. AND I'm not that great of a communicator (which is ironic because I'm a comm major).

How could God ask me to do that? Why? What could I possibly have to say that's so important? So, dead set on not doing this, I told God that he couldn't use me for this. I did everything I could to ignore this feeling in hopes that it would go away. I ran from God. Literally, I ran on a treadmill at the rec center forever to get rid of this nagging, anxious feeling. And if I'm running, you know there's something wrong because those that know me know that I hate running. At least I'm super in shape now.

I'll do anything else God. Seriously, send me to work with kids or write a book; literally, anything else I'm down for! Why does your will have to be this?  Why can't your will be for me to marry Tim Tebow? 
Just kidding about that last one... Well, not really.

But there was a deeper underlining issue here that I'm slowly becoming aware of. God doesn't need me to speak at BASIC. He doesn't need me to do anything, really. He's an all powerful God who could have came down off the cross if He wanted to. Speaking wasn't the issue. It was my denial to surrender.

I want to control the outcomes of my life. Always. Even when driving. When going on long trips, I always like to drive because I have the power to stop the car to use the bathroom whenever I want (I have an abnormally  small bladder. Don't make fun). I don't like the idea of God completely changing up my plans. I always thought I did, but it's becoming clear that I don't. I have no idea what to do with my life after college, let alone this summer. I have God's will in mind, but I keep trying to make my own plans. I know what I want, what I can handle, what I should do, and where I should go. How dare God try to change up my plans. 


Man, I'm such an idiot sometimes. I was at church a couple of Sundays ago and, low and behold, Pastor John Fuller was talking about surrender. "You can't expect God to act a certain way" was the main idea of the sermon. One of his points was that God doesn't ask you to surrender parts of your life to Him, he wants all of it. You can't follow God and remain the same (a point from last Sunday's sermon). When Jesus called Matthew, he said "Come, follow me". and Matthew got up and followed Him.

Really think about this, guys! A lot of us sing songs at church about surrender. "Finally I surrender" "All for you and for your glory" "Take me, mold me, use me". At that moment we're thinking Yes, God, wherever you send me I will go. I will do whatever you want. You're plan is greater than my plan. But that's not true for a lot of us. We say His plans are greater but live as if ours are better. What are you still holding on to? What won't you let go?


For me, I told him, You can have my singleness, my school work, and my friendships but you can't have my future career or my anxiety and you can't take me out of my comfort zone. I have to know what's going to happen at all times and, unless the outcome seems beneficial to me, I'm not doing it. I will write about you, but I won't speak about you. I will praise you at church, but I won't risk my reputation at school. I will talk to Christians about you, but I don't want to be ridiculed in front of non Christians so don't even think about asking me to do that. 


This surrender issue makes me sick. I'm not the same and will never grow closer to God until I do. He's not okay with having part of me. He wants all of me. And I know this now but I still don't want to. Why? Because it's scary! It's horrifying to give up control and put your life in the hands of someone you can't see. Surrender means everything. God may ask me to go across seas, He may tell me to sell all my clothes, He may tell me to pay for a strangers meal, He may tell me to talk to my classmates about Him, He may have me be single til I'm forty. Let' be honest...this isn't ideal at all!

This might kill me. But isn't that the point? To die to our selfish lives? This is going to break me and make me all sorts of uncomfortable. True surrender is not going to be easy at all. I'm going to cry. I'm going to be ridiculed. I'm going to be uncomfortable. I'm going to suffer.

But.

"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future'". - Jeremiah 29:11


 A surrendered life is way more beautiful than this messed up, control-freak life I've got going for me right now. I can't ignore that nagging feeling any longer. Let's be honest, you can only run from God for so long until you hit an dead end and have no choice but to turn around. You can't escape God. We're just going to have to get used to the fact that God wants to use us in big ways and the only way He can do that is if we surrender.

God may want to have me speak at BASIC someday. And if asked, I'll have no choice but to say yes. I know what I got to let go of. What about you?